By: Sloane Hughes
‘Hamberder ‘ Replaces ‘Covfefe ‘ As The Dumbest Word In The Trump Lexicon

Clemson University ‘s national champion football team, the Tigers, were invited over to the White House for a feast on Monday, but the administration ran into a bit of a problem when they realized
“Wait a second. The White House kitchen is closed because
we fucking shut down the government ‘
But that ‘s fine, no bigs, Trump had a solution. Why not treat these nationally ranked athletes to a cornucopia of fast food, the likes of which 17-year-old stoners could only dream of.

Trump ‘s a thinker, that ‘s why he gets paid the big bucks.
In a video shared on twitter, Trump is seen proudly showing off his army of 300 burgers while moving like a goddamn animatronic figure someone just sprung from a 1960 ‘s Disney musical ride.
Here ‘s a video I shot of President Trump showing off his 300 hamburgers. pic.twitter.com/P06S6I5w07
‘ Hunter Walker (@hunterw) January 14, 2019
And then, just when we thought this laziest-of-all-White-House-lunches couldn ‘t get any more ridiculous (just kidding, we all fucking knew it would) Trump blessed everyones twitter feed with this marvel of the English language.
Computer, ENHANCE
Sorry, 1000 w h a t
Hamberders.
H A M B E R D E R S
Just to emphasize how much this wasn ‘t a typo, please observe the following diagrams, provided by our investigative journalism and forensics teams.
See, hambirger or even hamborger would have been an understandable error. Thumbs slip, accidents happen, typing is hard when you have tiny hands. But please note how very far apart and not at all in close proximity to each other the letters E and U are situated on the keyboard.
FURTHERMORE, your honor, the next move made after the letter R will prove the intent to grossly misspell.
As you can clearly see, the motion in which one would make towards the letter D are in an entirely different direction from the letter G.
No, America, this was no typo.
The upsetting truth of the matter is
The president of the United States, the man who has the launch codes, genuinely thought hamberder was a real word.
Jeeeeee-suuuuuuuuuus
Is anyone really surprised though? After covfefe anything goes. Nothing matters, spell shit however you want to, these are lawless times. Honestly the most shocking thing about that entire lunch was that he managed to count all the way up to 300.
(Which hasn ‘t actually been confirmed)
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