By: Funny Or Die
A painter dies and leaves behind a priceless portrait of a certain Balkan tyrant and sorcerer ‘ ‘Vigo the Carpathian. When an ambitious assistant steals the painter ‘s magnum opus and places the work in the hands of an icy gallery owner, the art world explodes with interest and delight. At first. Soon, a supernatural force seems to emanate from the work and threatens to doom anyone who sets eyes upon it ‘ ‘until the Ghostbusters show up to battle the extradimensional power it holds. The team tries to exterminate the malevolent force in the painting and thus save the world, while also (grudgingly) helping these fancy-pants art critics not die horrible deaths.
Starring John Malkovich, Jake Gyllenhaal, Billy Magnussen, Rene Russo ‘ and also starring Harold Ramis, Dan Aykroyd, and Bill Murray, VELVET BUZZSAW VS. GHOSTBUSTERS is the picture perfect thriller for 2019.
FIELD NOTES FROM THE FUNNY OR DIE STAFF
I had completely forgotten how terrifying Vigo The Carpathian is, but this mash-up reminds me just how truly scary a man ‘s face can be when a mop of lank, lifeless hair is paired with cold, dead eyes. Vigo (originally known as Vigo Von Homburg Deutschendorf, also known as Scourge of Carpathia, Sorrow of Moldavia, Vigo the Carpathian, Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, Vigo the Unholy) is an ancient 16th Century medieval tyrant and sorcerer, who later died in the 17th century, and, according to Ghostbuster canon, he eventually died at the age of 105 in 1610, but not because of his old age.
The people over whom he ruled with despotic terror executed him in what we ‘ll call the most thorough way possible: he was poisoned, shot, stabbed, hung, stretched, disemboweled, and drawn and quartered.
It ‘s only fitting that years later his portrait is rediscovered by Jake Gyllenhaal rocking a slapping pair of square-framed glasses, and Vigo comes back with heavily-accented vengeance.