By: Sloane Hughes
Michael Cohen Spent Thousands Of Dollars For His Own Thirsty Twitter Account

Okay, so Michael Cohen ‘s a shady piece of shit. We know that. Dude ‘s got a proclivity for throwing money at people, campaigns, and corporations to influence them and sway things in Trump ‘s favor, and he ‘s got the criminal charges to prove it. So when we learned this morning that Cohen hired an IT firm to rig online polls for Trump, there was no surprise. That ‘s like, basically his entire MO.
But wait, there ‘s more
Along with rigging polls, Cohen contracted them for a more personal agenda.
Are you ready for this?
Michael Cohen paid them to create a twitter account that literally just tweets about how hot he is.
One more time.
Michael Cohen. Paid an IT firm. To make a fake twitter account. Dedicated to being horny for Michael Cohen.
*inhale* HAAAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHA
Apparently Cohen paid the owner of the company, RedFinch, a Walmart bag full of cash and a single boxing glove that he claimed was worn by a Brazilian MMA fighter – as if that isn ‘t the most insane payment method ever.
AND IT DOESN ‘T EVEN END THERE – IT GETS BETTER
The twitter account, called WOMEN FOR COHEN (subtle), includes a description that reads, “Women who love and support Michael Cohen. Strong, pit bull, sex symbol, no nonsense, business oriented, and ready to make a difference! ‘
Strong, pit bull, sex symbol.
NoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
We are ready for fall air, crisp mornings, & seeing this guy dressed to impress! @MichaelCohen212 you are amazing! pic.twitter.com/brWGW4wzVV
‘ Women For Cohen (@WomenForCohen) September 3, 2016
Ok. Just imagine this scene for a moment. You ‘re the owner of a tech company, you ‘ve been contracted to doctor the results of online polls for a spray-tanned cesspool of a man, which his lawyer gave you $13,000 shoved in a fucking grocery store bag and a single boxing glove (????) for, and then he tasks you with making and operating a thirsty twitter account, for himself.
What was that conversation like??
“You get one boxing glove now, and you ‘ll get the other one once you ‘ve convinced the internet that I ‘m more than a lawyer, I ‘m also a hot piece of ass ‘
His criminal trial is over, but there should definitely be some community service tacked onto his sentence for committing cringeworthy acts of ego stroking in the first degree.
The account hasn ‘t tweeted since 2016, but as of now it is still up. So if you really want to, you can read all the hot-for-Cohen tweets here
Similar Posts

The Grand Canyon Skywire Guy Cheated!
The Grand Canyon Skywire Guy Cheated!

Talking Marriage With Ryan Bailey: Nick Rutherford
It’s Season Finale time in the garage as Ryan Bailey wraps up his monumentally successful first season by inviting comedian Nick Rutherford, star of Intramural and Good Neighbor, to share some of his favorite wedding memories despite not being married.

THE SECRET TO YOU KNOW WHAT!!$$$!!!
THE SECRET TO YOU KNOW WHAT!!! is a clip from NO OUTLET Watch the full version of NO OUTLET at http://www.nickvatterott.com THE SECRET TO YOU KNOW WHAT!!! Written by Nick Vatterott Directed by Chris Piazza Produced by Shawn Rubin and Michael Cargill Very Special Effects by Jayel Draco and Very Special Guests Robert Dean and Rojo Perez

15 GIFs To Celebrate National Pancake Day But Also For Just Because
Unlike real pancakes, we guarantee these GIFs will still be fresh tomorrow.

Why Indian women won’t marry Indian men…and more! – Indian stand up comedy
Two hours of comedy, including exclusive backstage interviews! A Wrench In The Works Entertainment is proud to present five of the most talented Indian stand up comedians in North America, taped live, in High Definition, before a sold out audience in Hollywood, California. Blowing aside political correctness, these five hilarious comics masterfully break down every imaginable stereotype. With no topic off-limits, the result is pure comedy: raw, revealing, and wildly entertaining. Indian Invasion Comedy brings these enormously talented comedians together for two hours of nonstop, side-splitting entertainment you can’t see anywhere else. Bonus features include exclusive backstage interviews, and widescreen format.

Kiss Me I ‘m Irish
Happy Saint Patrick ‘s Day!