By: Sloane Hughes

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People Are Bedazzling Their Dogs Balls And I Am Calling The Police

Fashion trends come and go and while some are pretty cool, not all of them are great. For instance, maybe you ‘ve noticed the crazy obsession with glitter everyone seems to have? Listen. I love glitter as much as the next person. But it has a time and a place.

Take, for example, glitter hair and glitter beards.

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Glittering // Verb: To Glitter

A post shared by The Gay Beards (@thegaybeards) on

Personally, I ‘m super into it. I don ‘t have the cajones to do that myself and it ‘s not the most practical look, for sure. But hey – different strokes for different folks.

Speaking of cajones, you know what never needs glitter? Like, ever?

Your dog ‘s balls.

Yep. This is apparently a thing, because mankind ‘s creativity is boundless, and so is our depravity.

Courtesy of Groomery Foolery/Facebook

That ‘s right, everybody. This is the world we live in now.

Dog grooming was a slippery slope to start down. We ‘ve gone from giving poodles and bichons ridiculously spherical heads like 1960 ‘s NASA concept space helmets, to completely redesigning them after different animals like zebras and giraffes, (a grooming style called ‘zoodles ‘ which has definitely gotta cause some identity issues) to now adorning our dog ‘s family jewels to look like actual jewels.

Courtesy of Royal Paws Pet Salon/Facebook



One post from a facebook page called ‘Groomies ‘ has coined the term ‘glitterballed ‘ and I just cannot put into words how much I hate this.
The post also includes a breakdown of exactly what ingredients are used, y ‘know, to quell any concerns you might have.

I ‘m glad to hear that they ‘re using products that are safe for dogs, but I ‘ll tell you right now that I am still very cranky about this.

They say that dogs are man ‘s best friend, which I wholeheartedly believe, and I ‘m just throwing this out there, but uhh


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