By: Sloane Hughes
The Grammy Awards celebrate the best and brightest in the music industry but there is another thing to be celebrated here – the attire. Truthfully that ‘s more the reason why I watch the Grammys anyway, to make fun of the red carpet outfits I can ‘t afford while drinking $8 box wine.
Let ‘s begin, shall we?
When it comes to unconventional outfits Katy Perry isn ‘t an amateur, she did wear a cupcake bra after all, and usually I ‘m all for her wild ensembles. This one though… not so much.
At first this one felt similar to her other outfits inspired by baked goods, in that it looks like she was baked into a cake that a smaller Katy Perry will jump out of at any minute, hopefully to address the public and apologize for this terrible silhouette.
But after a minute or so this dress started to look familiar… almost like I had seen it before.
Then it hit me.
“I am the Lorax and I speak for the trees, and the trees say ‘dude you need a better designer ‘ ‘
This next one, oh boy.
I cannot WAIT to drag this one through the mud.
Hmm, do you think she ‘s trying to say something?
Ok look, for the sake of being impartial I ‘m going to not even talk about the politics of this. Strictly from a fashion point, what the actual hell is going on here. First of all, this literally looks like she hired a middle school class to paint a sheet of paper for a MAGA themed dance and then said “great, now wrap me in it. ‘ Secondly, ok, we get it, you like Trump. We could ‘ve inferred that if she showed up wearing just that brick dress. Or carrying a MAGA purse. But no no. That wasn ‘t enough.
This is how I imagine the call to her designer went:
“Yes that ‘s right I ‘d like a dress that shows my support for the border wall.
What? What the hell is a metaphor? No I want it to have actual bricks on it
And I ‘d also like a MAGA purse
And then write BUILD THE WALL on the entire back of my dress
And then put spiKES ON MY HEAD
B A R B E D. W I R E. ‘
And last and absolutely NOT least, we have the best outfit I ‘ve ever seen in my entire life.
I mean that with the utmost sincerity. I love this so much I ‘m not sure how to adequately express it but I ‘m gonna try.
IS THIS NOT THE GREATEST THING YOU ‘VE EVER SEEN
This is Colombian music group Aterciopelados and I have never heard of them until now, I have no idea what kind of music they play, but they ‘re my new favourite band. I seriously have been smiling since I saw this photo at like 9am. My face hurts. It ‘s worth it. This is amazing.
The composition is amazing, black and gold are timeless, and, oh yeah – SHE ‘S DRESSED AS A LITERAL GRAMOPHONE. WITH NIPPLES. SHE ‘S A GRAMOPHONE WITH NIPPLES.
I just have one question.