By: Kelci Grammar
It ‘s amazing that we ‘re even circulating back to this story a full four days later. It ‘s not like this was a scandal or a national emergency (although I suppose as long as he ‘s our president we ‘re kind of permanently in a state of national emergency) or anything work four days of news time. This was Trump goofing up someone ‘s last name, which as we ‘ve previously addressed, is entirely in his wheelhouse. So why is this back in our news feeds? Well, because after some extremely careful consideration, Trump has come up with an explanation as to why he called CEO Tim Cook, Tim Apple.
It was to save time.
Because Cook, as you know, takes a long time to sound out. That whole one syllable.
At a recent round table meeting of business executives, & long after formally introducing Tim Cook of Apple, I quickly referred to Tim + Apple as Tim/Apple as an easy way to save time & words. The Fake News was disparagingly all over this, & it became yet another bad Trump story!
‘ Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 11, 2019
h o w
t h i s
r e a l
l i f e
The most baffling part about all of this is that President Trump took four days to come up with this brilliant explanation. Four days. At that point why not just drop it?? Who was even talking about this story anymore???? Good to know that the precious time he saved was put to good use brainstorming all of this.
I timed myself trying to say ‘Tim Cook from apple ‘ pic.twitter.com/VMI9PsJJ5h
‘ h. jon benjamin (@HJBenjamin) March 11, 2019
It seems like everyone ‘s exasperated at this point.
i need a long walk around the block after that Trump Tim Apple tweet
‘ Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) March 11, 2019
Thankfully although this story seems like it ‘s gone on for way too long, the Tim Apple jokes are still ripe for the picking.
Looking forward to seeing Tim Apple at the Steve Apple Theater for the Apple Apple Show Apple
‘ Matthew Panzarino (@panzer) March 11, 2019
Trump yesterday: I called him Tim Cook of Apple you just didn ‘t hear me.
Trump today: I called him Tim Apple to save time.
Trump tomorrow: THERE IS NO TIM COOK! IPHONES ARE A HOAX CREATED BY THE LYING MEDIA! THIS IS NOTHING BUT AN APPLE WATCH HUNT!
‘ The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 11, 2019
[one week after rambling, 2-hour CPAC speech]
“To save time and words I removed one syllable from Tim + Apple” https://t.co/SPWnbDCNYp
‘ Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) March 11, 2019
To save even more time, I propose we refer to Tim Cook of Apple simply as “Tapple.”
‘ Lincoln Michel (@TheLincoln) March 11, 2019
literally same exact logic pic.twitter.com/ee1YQRzGAl
‘ Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) March 11, 2019
Everyone’s favorite Billy on the Street contestant Elena is back! Watch her join Billy for a very special version of FOR A DOLLAR!
Love Diet Coke or know someone who does? What happens when you run out and you only have non Diet Coke drinks to offer?? This is what we think happens. Download the Song: http://bit.ly/18xWykx Behind-the-scenes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ7IYcMGxyk Tweet! http://clicktotweet.com/JMIcX Facebook! http://on.fb.me/mPbTVw OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL: http://www.youtube.com/thefumusic DOWNLOAD OUR MUSIC: http://bit.ly/RiyhT3 THE FU MERCH: http://www.thefumusic.com/#shop OFFICIAL WEBSITE: http://www.thefumusic.com TALK TO US: http://www.thefumusic.com/#social SEND US SOME LOVE firstname.lastname@example.org PO BOX 921098, Norcross, GA 30010 United States FOR BUSINESS INQUIRIES email@example.com