By: Best Of The Web
This Series Literally Interprets The Bible And Yes Can Confirm IT ‘S BONKERS
The only webseries dedicated to telling obscure Bible stories in a fresh, yet authentic style. This is the second genuine bible story. It is also the kind of bible story your religious leader does not want to talk about.
FIELD NOTES FROM THE FUNNY OR DIE STAFF
The Bible, and those that rely on its unbelievably antiquated stories to justify their heinous positions today, takes quite literally in my view the #1 position on my list of “Things That Have Caused The Most Human Suffering ‘. As a former Pentecostal Christian, I find the intellectual contortions that people put themselves through in order to hold up The Bible as the ultimate truth and unassailable justification for their views, while dismissing and discounting the parts in it that are really terrible and contradictory and also just super weird, so obviously strenuous and difficult and painful that they should probably be categorized Olympics sports at this point.
Some of my favorite weird-ass passages from the bible include:
When Fighting Another Man, Chop Off His Wife ‘s Hand If She Grabs Your Genitals
That ‘s from Deuteronomy 25:11-12.
There ‘s even another Literally The Series about it:
Here ‘s some other crazy passages:
Women Suspected of Adultery Have to Drink Dirty Water
Go see for yourself in Numbers 5:11-31.
Never Boil a Baby Goat in Its Mother ‘s Milk
Check out Exodus 23:19.
Plus even more weird stuff!
The time David went HAM on a bunch of dicks.
No seriously, he murders a bunch of dudes and chops of their turtlenecks (it ‘s in 1 Samuel 18:25-27)
Like really lame commandments
Ye shall not round the corners of your heads (prescribed in Leviticus 19:27)
And more. There ‘s lists here and here and here and here.
So finally, a series that interprets the Bible literally. The way God intended.
This ministry of mockery comes to you via the lordly laughter over at Literally The Series.
Brought to you by Neil Grahn & Coyote Produtions
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada ‘
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