By: Sloane Hughes
The 90 ‘s birthed some weird children ‘s toys but few are more profoundly effed up than Furbies. If you ‘re unfamiliar with them, Furbies are animatronic toys that don ‘t resemble anything from earth. They ‘re furry, they don ‘t have arms but they do have weird toes, beaks, and giant ears like a bat. They look like they were created in a secret lab. And for whatever reason, literally every kid wanted one so bad.
They also move and make noises which was great, because sometimes in the middle of the night they would awaken and start making sounds from inside your closet, and they look like they probably don ‘t have a soul themselves but would for sure love to consume yours.
Furbies were already disturbing enough on their own. But of course people had to take it a step further. Instead of leaving these nightmarish creatures in the past where they belong, some folks have decided to surgically combine them with other toys or objects, resulting in a hoard of Franken-Furbies that I wish to god I hadn ‘t seen and am going to force you all to look at.
I thought I hated the long, limbless Furby
And then I found the horror that is FURBIES WITH HANDS
Mother of GOD
I want to scream
Which are only rivaled by the TWO HEADED FURBY
Or the Furby who looks like it ‘s six feet tall and going to appear in my room one night
This is literally what I see when I have sleep paralysis.
They ‘re called “oddbody Furbies ‘, if for some reason you want to see more they ‘re all over tumblr, and they ‘ve ruined my life.