By: Dashiell Driscoll

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The Time Zack Morris Unleashed A Plague Of Rodents

Remember the time Zack Morris unleashed a plague of rodents?

The episode begins with Zack concentrating behind a pile of books. Zack Morris? Studying? Don ‘t see that every day. Zack ‘s cracking his first book as he needs a B on the midterm to go ski with his dad. Everyone laughs in his dumb face since he ‘s incapable of average achievements.

Instead of joining the class review, Zack gets a great idea. In Sweden, they give grades before tests so student can be relaxed for the test. A lie that makes no sense.

Miss Bliss tells the class about her Miss Bliss Challenge. The team that scores highest on her quiz bowl midterm review wins cool shirts and pizza!

Because of these innovative teaching methods, Miss Bliss is nominated for School Day magazine ‘s teacher of the year! She ‘s got it in the bag.

Zack ‘s moping to fish for Screech ‘s hallway sympathy. He needs help postponing the midterm so he has more time to not study for that B.

What the fuck? Zack wants to unleash Screech ‘s beloved pet rats in school, so it gets shut down, delaying midterms, so he can ski. Screech refuses. Until Zack dangles a promise of a double date with twins. Total fiction.

Zack saunters over to see if Screech set his plague of rodents free. Screech is in spiritual free fall after going along with Zack ‘s bidding. Lisa saw a rat in the bathroom! Screech is in pain. Zack tells her to report it! Someone took a bite of Mikey ‘s Twinkie! Zack says looks like the work of a rat! If anyone would know rat work, it ‘s Zack Morris.

Zack kicks his terror campaign into full gear. He commends Miss Paladrino for keeping her cool with these rats running around. Zack revels in his fear mongering.

Milo ‘s ready to serve these tiny guests some Louisville Justice. Is this a catch and release operation? Nope. Execution. Screech is paralyzed, having sentenced his friends to get their brains smashed in.

School Day is here to monitor Miss Bliss. She details how much she cares about her students and that she takes every opportunity to nurture their success.

Milo interrupts. Belding, we have a problem.

Belding announces due to rat infestation, school is cancelled for a week. Zack celebrates. Screech is distraught over the imminent violent demise of his furry pals. Zack, not listening, puts on his cool guy shades.

Zack hears Miss Bliss won ‘t get teacher of the year, since her interviewer needs to observe her teaching and can ‘t re-schedule.

Zack hogs the middle of the stairs like a selfish pee-hole. He ‘s shocked his actions have consequences and confesses his Bubonic plot. Nikki scolds him for thinking an extra week of dicking around would make any difference and guilts him into coming clean. Zack sulks away to do the unthinkable act of telling the truth.

Miss Paladrino checks on Miss Bliss who is devastated her hard-earned moment of finally being recognized for an otherwise thankless career was robbed. She ‘s cries out to god! Enter the devil.

Screech is a wreck facing this heat. Zack has zero empathy. School ‘s back on tomorrow. But if they want their detention reduced, they need to be flawless students and help Miss Bliss win.

Zack ignores this and, when Miss Bliss begins her trivia challenge, loudly mocks her. Zack is not carrying his weight. No surprise. When he finally dings in, he showboats down to the buzzer to answer a softball.

As the interviewer arrives, Zack signals everyone to overact. Then shoots a creepy smile that sends her scooting. Now instead of answering questions, the class is transparently kissing major butt. Zack ‘s giving banal speeches and holding for applause.

Zack pats the interviewer, much to her horror, like that will help.

Not the first or last time Zack will hear those words.

Miss Bliss stops the madness. This visitor is distracting from their review and needs to leave. She advises she won ‘t be able to re-schedule an observation. Miss Bliss is fine with that and sends her off. Students come first.

Zack revels in a B on an 8th grade midterm like he belongs in MENSA. Then thanks Nikki who carried his ass to that B. He caps off his thank you with cool guy shades.

Belding has good news: Miss Bliss won teacher of the year! No thanks to Zack. Let ‘s review.

Zack Morris pissed away study time, then falsely promised female proximity to coerce Screech into rodent-based terrorism. So he could delay a midterm he ‘d still fail later to go skiing. And never cared or considered this would end in slaughter. When his scheme crushed a selfless educator, had to be pressured into doing what ‘s right. Then did what ‘s wrong and almost cost her the award. And had to be dragged across the finish line of his comically attainable grade. Zack Morris is trash. ‘

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