By: Sloane Hughes
It ‘s real easy to judge people when you ‘re on the outside looking in, especially when that someone is a celebrity as famous as Nicolas Cage. Celebrities don ‘t have regular people problems, they ‘re obscenely wealthy and they all have great skin and get free shit everywhere they go, so usually I ‘m all for having a laugh at their expense. But listen dude, we ‘ve all got our own shit going on, and sometimes the right thing to do is just say, “ugh, man, that blows. ‘ So that ‘s what I ‘m going to do here, this isn ‘t a slam piece, this is me ‘ for probably the first and only time in my life ‘ really relating to a celebrity.
I don ‘t know if you guys have been keeping up with Nic Cage but he ‘s really going through it lately. Lemme get you up to speed. ‘
He recently got hitched in Vegas ‘ such a classic bored rich person stunt but hey, it happens. He and his bride, Erika Koike, had been dating for a year which seems like a decent enough amount of time. But also, just generally speaking, if you go to Vegas to get married chances are that ‘s not gonna be the most stable union.
So, because nothing pairs as well with Vegas weddings like instant regret and a swift split, national treasure Nic Cage filed for an annulment after only four days of being married. Oof.
And as if going through a super awkward and short lived drunk marriage and then splitting up in front of basically the whole world wasn ‘t bad enough, Erika Kioke is actually demanding spousal support.
Imagine being married to someone for less than a standard work week and then them having the audacity to demand you fund their life.
That ‘s enough to send anyone spiralling, but it ‘s not an uncommon story. So I bet you ‘re asking yourself, “where ‘s the part where I ‘m supposed to feel for him? Where ‘s the relatability?? ‘
Well, Nic Cage handled this whole thing in the most understandable, just-your-average-guy way possible.
He got wasted and angrily sang some brutal and truly heartfelt karaoke.
And, dude, I have been there. Sometimes life really puts you through the ringer and all you can do is get supremely hammered and let it all out in a seedy karaoke bar, celebrity or not.
Nic Cage walking into a kareoke bar after filing his annulment and angrily scream-singing Purple Rain by Prince is the biggest fucking mood of 2019
‘ ramona (@thefashionhippy) April 23, 2019
A co-dependent couple drowning in booze and yet still clinging to well-paying jobs. After playing at Sundance, SXSW, AFI and over 30 other festivals, this is the first time this short is available online. It features TJ MIller, Lizzy Caplan, Nick Kroll, Tony Hale, Matt Braunger, Whitney Cummings and more!
Broadway presents Michael Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles The Musical. Watch him ruin these beloved Characters and Broadway Musicals at the same time. From the people who brought you Spiderman Turn Off The Dark. A sketch from Don’t Touch That Comedy SUBSCRIBE NOW!! Don’t Touch That Comedy on Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/DTTComedy Don’t Touch That on Twitter: https://twitter.com/DTTComedy Don’t Touch That Website: http://www.DTTComedy.com Special Thank You To: Singing April O’Neil: Rebecca Aparicio Singing Raphael: Stephen Elkins Mom: Kathleen Moriarty April O’Neil Voice: Jessica Ritacco