By: Sloane Hughes
NOTE: This article was originally published in April 2019 and has been updated as of November 2019 ‘ updates have been added to the end of the article.
CGI has come a long way over the last decade or so, which has opened up a lot of cool possibilities for films and ways to tell new stories, but what that ‘s actually led to is a lot of live action remakes. But hey, I ‘m not complaining, who doesn ‘t love a little bit of nostalgia? And re-imaginings of classics we all know and love can be pretty great ‘ when they ‘re done well. Take Paddington, for example. Everyone ‘s favorite little Peruvian bear was given a great CGI makeover and he looked just as fuzzy and adorable in ‘real life ‘ as he did in cartoon form.
Live action reboots can also go horribly, horribly wrong.
Like the monstrosity that was the 2016 reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, emphasis on “mutant ‘. The beloved characters that were supposed to be fun, pizza loving goofballs were turned into roided out nightmare fuel.
And sadly, the latest childhood gem to be absolutely massacred is Sonic.
Earlier today the first trailer for the new Sonic the Hedgehog movie was released and honestly I would ‘ve been less upset if it was a short film that ends with him being straight up murdered. Because that is essentially what they ‘ve done. They ‘ve killed Sonic.
Look, I understand that he ‘s a difficult character to try and redesign for a live action flick, but dude, come onnnnn.
There ‘s a lot that ‘s fundamentally wrong with this, like, so much. But without a doubt the most disturbing things about this new hellspawn Sonic is they gave him extremely human teeth.
Good morning to absolutely everyone and everything other than live action Sonic the Hedgehog ‘s creepy human teeth xx pic.twitter.com/yJX6WPW7Li
‘ Alanah Pearce (@Charalanahzard) April 30, 2019
Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn ‘t stop to think if they should. pic.twitter.com/yusda57rEn
‘ Adult Male (@PlainTravis) April 30, 2019
[Sonic the Hedgehog movie pitch meeting]
Jim Carrey: [chanting] teeth, teeth –
Director: teeth, TEETH
Paramount execs [pounding the table]: TEETH, TEETH, TEETH! https://t.co/eDzzAmSjDC
‘ Gavia Baker-Whitelaw (@Hello_Tailor) April 30, 2019
Good luck sleeping tonight.
When this article was first published back in April, things looked extremely bleak. The 2019 re-imagining of Sonic was, without a doubt, the most disturbing CGI animal that anyone had ever seen with their own two eyes (this was before the Cats trailer though so I mean we as a society are always hitting new lows) and it not only scarred us, but the thought of what was to come was almost too much to bear. If the TRAILER was that traumatic, what kind of toll would the FULL MOVIE have on our psyches? I shudder at the thought, and luckily for everyone on this planet, that ‘s a reality we will never have to face.
The world cried “OH DEAR GOD NO ‘ and Paramount Pictures listened.
The movie was put on hold, Sonic was completely redesigned, and the new (AND MUCH IMPROVED) trailer was just released this morning.
Folks, it looks amazing.
Sonic was once dead, but now he is risen, and he has 100% fewer human teeth.
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