By: Sloane Hughes

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Anyone who ‘s owned a pet will tell you that along with adorable and sweet, animals can be weird as hell. Pets are kind of like people, they all have their own personalities and they know what they like ‘ and what they don ‘t. Some things are pretty common across the board, for example, dogs hate fireworks, but love fire truck sirens. (Or do they? Do they actually love sirens or do they just NEED to howl at them??? Science please explain)

However, some pets have tastes that are a little more, um, unique.

Helen the cat is one of those pets.

If you give your pet a sophisticated name like ‘Helen ‘ they ‘re bound to develop some pretty refined interests. I don ‘t know her personally and she declined to be interviewed for this piece, probably because she doesn ‘t have thumbs so emailing is a challenge and she can ‘t read anyway, but I assume she likes the finer things in life. Like wet cat food instead of kibble, and sleeping in only the highest quality cardboard boxes. While that is all speculation, one thing is certain. Helen does not like karaoke. How do we know that for certain?

Because every time her owner sings out loud Helen beats the crap out of her.


It doesn ‘t matter what genre, Helen ‘s owner can only get a few bars into any song before she comes to tell her EXACTLY WHAT SHE THINKS OF HER SINGING.

Is she just a harsh critic? Maybe this her way of saying “GET SINGING LESSONS ‘

Or maybe she just doesn ‘t like a capella? Which, honestly, is fair.

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