By: Sloane Hughes
Apparently Noah ‘s Ark Only Had Male Lions

Whether you grew up in a religious household or not, the majority (or at least a fair chunk) of people in the western world are familiar with the tale of Noah ‘s Ark. Probably because, if you think about it just from a storytelling perspective, it kinda kicks ass. It ‘s got everything an epic story needs ‘ a protagonist whom everyone doubts but ends up being right because fucking duh, direct contact with a higher power, a big ass boat (not necessary but honestly never a bad idea) and absolutely insane forces of nature resulting in chaos and mass destruction. It hits all the notes!
Oh, and it ‘s got a shit ton of animals, which is why it ‘s so popular with kids. I mean, everyone dies, like, literally everyone on earth dies, but there ‘s zebras and penguins and ponies so, hey ‘ it ‘s still usable for toys and children ‘s books. And the designers of these toys and books and general child art all seem to agree on a few major points: the shape of the ark, the presence of a rainbow, and the fact that the lions on board were gay.