By: Sloane Hughes

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Nike Heels, For When You Have Practice At 4 And Date Night At 5

I ‘m not a fashion icon nor do I have even above average fashion sense. I mean, I don ‘t think I have bad taste but I ‘m also aware of the fact I wear a maximum of four different outfits and my Vans have a hole in the left toe. I honestly can ‘t say whether or not I ‘m currently wearing matching socks. Am I an authority on style? No. Am I qualified to criticize the work of legitimate designers who make my salary in a week? Also no. Am I still going to? Yes.

Nike is one of the best athletic wear companies out there, in my experience. They make stuff that ‘s comfortable and durable and I don ‘t feel like a potato when I accidentally look at myself in the gym mirror, plus they ‘ve partnered with activists like Colin Kaepernick and I respect that.

And now designer Ancuta Sarca has elevated Nike ‘s iconic shoes, literally, by about two inches.

She combined running shoes with high heels to create a sort of shoe-mullet situation, with sports in the front and party in the back.

She said she wanted to give these shoes “a completely new function ‘ which, to her credit, she definitely did.

I ‘m just not sure what that function is.

Haute couture penalty kicks??

Being able to kind of run but like not really???

Abiding by a 5-star restaurant ‘s formal dress code but just barely???

I don ‘t know. In any case, what I do know is I will probably never be able to afford them.

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