By: Funny Or Die
Do you love seeing someone get humiliated? Do you love dogs that talk? Are you in need of a good old fashioned plane crash? How about a car crash? Well, gather around the fire, and let me tell you about Marimar, a Mexican telenovela, with so many face slaps, and bitchy eye rolls that you ‘ll probably need a Xanax to recover ‘because telenovelas ‘are ‘hell. ‘
Marimar is the story of a ‘very ‘poor young woman who has only ever bathed in the ocean and has never cut her toe nails in her life. Marimar lives in straw hut with her abuelitos who are like 112 years old, and always look like they ‘re lost, and her best friend Pulgoso, a dog that talks with the voice of a 50 year old grown man and is kind of in love with her.
One day Marimar ‘s grandparents tell her that ‘they ‘re sick and tired of ‘only eating fish, so she sneaks into someone ‘s private farm to steal a carrot and some eggs, except she gets caught by a man who tries to force himself on her. Immediately her dog comes to her rescue, so the man tries to shoot him, but instead shoots an innocent chicken that happened to be walking by, ‘minding its own damn business.
You ‘ll have to watch the rest to know what happens next. It only gets more insane from here.
Watch all episodes of Marimar on DIRECTV
Binge all of “Telenovelas Are Hell ‘ on the FOD website
Narrated By: Tamara Yajia
Writer/Editor: Tamara Yajia
Editor: Paul Louis Smith