By: Darren Miller
The first democratic debate is gearing up to be… too much. There are way too many people. Look at all these people! Sure, I know who Elizabeth Warren, Beto O ‘Rourke, Cory Booker, Bernie Sanders, and Amy Klobuchar is, but… who ‘s “Phil ‘?
Oh, Joe Biden, sure. I know who Joe Biden is. Of course I do! He ‘s winning in all the polls. Oh and Kamala Harris. I ‘ve heard of her. But who is “Candy Crush Champion Ted Burlap ‘?
Also BOTH Glerb Flerb AND Glerb Flerb Jr. are running? I mean come on this is ridiculous. All these people won ‘t even fit on the stage!
I don ‘t care if they split it up over the course of two days. It ‘s still too many people. If the Democrats want to beat Donald Trump, they better pick someone QUICK.
Written by Ben Rosen, Tamara Yajia, Darren Miller
Edited by Bryan Wieder