By: Sloane Hughes
The musical Cats first premiered almost 40 years ago and remains the fourth-longest-running Broadway show, and this December you ‘ll be able to see it on the big screen as a feature film. I have a few questions. Why is Cats still so popular? Why was Cats EVER popular?? I don ‘t know a single person who actually likes Cats, do these people actually exist?? How has it not been swallowed by time?? Is it a curse?? Are WE ALL cursed??? WHO ASKED FOR A CATS LIVE ACTION MOVIE AND WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO THE REST OF US?????
The original musical was already weird as hell, and I ‘m sure I don ‘t need to explain how to all of you but I ‘m stalling because I need a few minutes to psyche myself up before I have to look at the trailer for a second time. To be fair, anytime a musical involves animals as characters, the costume design is usually at least a little bit unnerving, since a human in makeup and spandex is still just a human in makeup and spandex. But the fact still remains ‘ the cats were just creepy as shit.
Considering how far CGI has come and how beautiful live-action remakes like Beauty and the Beast and Lion King are, you ‘d think it ‘d be safe to assume that a reimagining of Cats in the year 2019 would be pretty spectacular.
Except it ‘s not.
It ‘s horrifying.
The characters in the movie do look more realistic than the stage actors ever did. And by that I mean instead of humans in costumes, they literally look like hellish feline humanoids.
HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO DAME JUDI DENCH?!
I could keep trying to describe the nightmare that is the 2019 Jellicle Cats but it ‘s probably best you just watch the trailer for yourself.
If those two-and-a-half minutes have left you viscerally upset and probably deeply traumatized at least you can take comfort in the fact that you ‘re not alone. We ‘re all together in this new post-Cats nightmare.
Therapist: Nightmare James Corden Cat isn't real. It can't hurt you.
Nightmare James Corden Cat: pic.twitter.com/zqTOA8TG2g
‘ Mitch Feltscheer (@mitchfel) July 18, 2019
CATS had better be 3D… I want to fear them
‘ Kyle Buchanan (@kylebuchanan) July 18, 2019
‘ Aliss (@LiterallyAliss) July 18, 2019
Petition to never turn James Corden back from a cat into a human
‘ pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets ‘ (@pixelatedboat) July 18, 2019
Cats (2019) pic.twitter.com/SQO1yYytk8
‘ Alex (@alexdnz) July 18, 2019
Showed my wife the CATS trailer and she said “this is the final straw” and left the house
‘ Scott Wampler ‘ (@ScottWamplerBMD) July 18, 2019
Wow, CATS looks great pic.twitter.com/sONg5jgu7e
‘ Asher (@buckligerzwerg) July 18, 2019
What movies will the Cats trailer be preceding this weekend. I would like to see it on The big screen. I want to know what noises my body will make when fully immersed in the most psychologically disturbing piece of art of the decade
‘ Natalie Walker (@nwalks) July 18, 2019
While house burns in the background, man on stretcher smiles and flips off people. Thanks to: youtube.com/jetaddiction For more FAIL visit http://failblog.org
Things get really scary when John decides he wants to break up with Adele. Starring: Kim Beavers, Jeff Oliphant Featuring: Amanda V Moore, Beth Goldberg, Charlotte Richman, Christina Maria Davis, Katherine Adams, Kristin Ige, Michelle Coyle, and Sarah Elizabeth Johnston Written, Directed, and Edited by: MrJOliphant Director of Photography: Harris Markson Gibbon’s Tail Productions – gibbonstail.com
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