By: Sloane Hughes
Earlier this month, the first trailer for the movie adaptation of Cats was dropped on all of us like a gigantic, other-worldly bomb that nobody was prepared for. It ‘s hard to believe that it was only two weeks ago, considering every waking moment that the image of James Corden in cat form has been occupying my brain feels like it ‘s dragged on for a thousand years. I ‘ve said it already, I ‘ve probably mumbled it in my sleep in a cold sweat as Cat-Dame Judi Dench stares into my subconscious, and now I ‘m saying it again: Cats looks horrifying and I hate it. Which is a shame, because it ‘s got an insanely strong cast, but I guess that just goes to show that star power isn ‘t everything.
Or maybe… the cast of Cats just doesn ‘t have the right star power ‘ yet.
The wave of Cats memes that the internet cranked out in the days following the trailer ‘s release was unstoppable, like the tsunami that destroyed New York in The Day After Tomorrow, but one of the drops in that sea of memes stood out among the rest.
Nick Offerman as every character in Cats.
‘ Joaquin Baldwin (@joabaldwin) July 20, 2019
Under normal circumstances, photoshopping Nick Offerman ‘s face onto a series of CGI animals would probably illicit a lot of reactions like, “oh god what the hell, ‘ but since the characters of Cats are already enough to haunt anyone who dares gaze upon them until the end of days, this is actually kind of an improvement.
And the best part of all?
He is totally down.
Let ‘s do this https://t.co/W9uS1MKt3d
‘ Nick Offerman (@Nick_Offerman) July 20, 2019
So perhaps there is a way to save Cats yet. Perhaps the answer is transforming the movie from a musical into a very stoick film in which all the CGI cats discuss the best kinds of wood to use for chair building and sit pensively in said chairs. I gotta say, I ‘m willing to give that a shot.
Nick Offerman as every character in Cats is the movie we all deserve.
And honestly the only way I ‘d ever actually want to watch it.
See! It ‘s already an improvement.
Red Fang decides to spend their music video budget in an unusual way. The new music video for “Wires” the new track from Murder the Mountains by Red Fang on Relapse Records. Featuring Brian Posehn and others. Directed by Whitey McConnaughy