By: Sloane Hughes
There are a few universal truths and one of them is sharks are cool as shit, which is why they have their own week ‘ which honestly should be turned into a full-fledged international holiday in order to show sharks the reverence and appreciation they deserve. I ‘m passionate about this, can you tell? Alas, time has been flying by, as time does, and somehow we ‘re already halfway through Shark Week. You don ‘t have to tell me, I already know that you ‘re as upset about it as I am.
It ‘s okay, shhh shh, we ‘ll get through this together.
If you don ‘t tune into Shark Week, first of all, what the hell. Secondly, I ‘ll give you the cliffsnotes of why sharks are so goddamn cool.
- Sharks are older than trees. YEAH, they ‘ve been around for over 400 million years.
- They hunt by detecting the electromagnetic fields of their prey. THAT ‘S A SIXTH SENSE, DUDE. Also, the organ that allows them to do this is called the ampullae of Lorenzini, which sounds totally made up and is cool in itself.
- Bull sharks can change the way their body functions so they can live in both salt and freshwater. They frequently (FREQUENTLY!) swim thousands of miles up river. To put that into physical perspective, that ‘s roughly the distance from Florida to Illinois ‘ WHERE THEY OFTEN END UP BECAUSE THEY CRUISE THE MISSISSIPPI. SHARKS. IN ILLINOIS. Stick to swimming pools, everybody.
- Sharks don ‘t have bones. Yep, it ‘s all cartilage!
- They will grow around 50,000 teeth in their lifetime. That ‘s just too many teeth. Bonus fact! Their skin is made up of tiny v-shaped things called dermal denticles which are literally just more small teeth. SHARKS ARE JUST TEETH.
If you ‘re sitting there thinking, “this is dumb I already knew all of that, ‘ alright there smart guy, respect, but here ‘s one thing I bet you didn ‘t know.
Sharks make for really great characters in webcomics.
Liz Climo is a super talented author and illustrator who worked as an animator on The Simpsons for over a decade, and now spends her time creating children ‘s books and the most delightful comics about sharks. So… I know I just spent a good chunk of time talking about how badass sharks are, and these cartoons are just so damn sweet so I ‘m kinda undermining myself here, so to balance things out I ‘m gonna alternate between Liz ‘s ? super cute shark comics ? and gifs of SHARKS BEING SUPER HARDCORE.
HELL YEAH, SO TOUGH
That is actually pretty clever
BUT LOOK AT THOSE TEETH
Haha, aw so silly
AND ALSO TERRIFYING
Purple does look like it would taste pretty good
AND ALSO RED, THE OTHER FAVORITE COLOR OF SHARKS, BECAUSE BLOOD
Sometimes you really do just have to treat yourself
TO AN ENTIRE SEAL
He just wants to be more approachable
SO THAT PEOPLE WILL PET HIM AND GIVE HIM SCRATCHIES… BUT LIKE… IN A HARDCORE WAY. SUPER TOUGH SHARK CUDDLES, IT ‘S A THING
NOTES FROM SLOANE
Shark Week is an incredibly important initiative that aims to educate the public and help reduce the stigma that surrounds sharks. Sharks are a delicate and extremely vital part of our oceans, and they need our help. Revenge-killing, overfishing, mutilation for shark fin dishes, destruction of breeding grounds, pollution, and climate change have and continue to decimate shark populations. If you would like to learn more about how you can help, either through donations or volunteer work, check out ‘Sea Save ‘ ‘ a nonprofit for ocean conservation that is partnering with Discovery for this year ‘s Shark Week.