By: Sloane Hughes
Happy Anniversary To Obama ‘s Tan Suit, The Worst Thing To Ever Happen Ever
Trump ‘s presidency has been riddled with all manner of controversies and scandals, like mocking a disabled reporter, multiple allegations of sexual assault, a full-blown FBI investigation, and genuinely saying that windmills cause cancer. I know that last one ‘s not really a scandal, but still, what the hell. Honestly sometimes it ‘s hard to keep up, but that ‘s not what I ‘m here to talk about today. No ‘ today is about a presidential transgression unlike any other, a spot on this country ‘s political history that is truly, truly dark. And by dark, I mean light beige.
Yes. Today is the anniversary of…
THE TAN SUIT.
GASP! THE HORROR!
On this day five years ago, President of the United States and Supreme Lord of Evil Fabrics Barack Obama held a press conference to give statements on ISIS and Russia ‘s intervention in Ukraine, trivial topics which paled in comparison to the pale suit he dared to walk out in.
He had the gall, the audacity, to wear a suit that was not BLACK, or NAVY, or even a WEIRD, GROSS BROWN LIKE THE SECTIONAL SOFA FROM YOUR OLD COLLEGE DORM.
It ‘s been five years, but the sheer unholy power of the tan suit still lingers to this day, like Voldemort.
Obama was called “unpresidential ‘, Republicans were in an uproar, and honestly, it ‘s a miracle that the very fabric of this country didn ‘t completely unravel. We ‘re lucky to have survived The Tan Suit, and it ‘s important we all remember that.
For no president before or after has done anything as horrifying as wear a light colored suit.
This video from The Daily Show perfectly illustrates it. Children and those with weak stomachs or heart conditions, please look away.