By: Sloane Hughes
Trump, Bigly Smart, Wants A Border Wall In Colorado, Which Isn ‘t On The Border
At this point in the administration we ‘ve learned a great number of facts about Trump that we can all agree are irrefutable, with many of those facts being filed under “Very Basic Concepts He Does Not Grasp ‘. A list which, if you were to turn into one large encyclopedia, would have chapters like,
I. Windmills: What They Do (Harness Power) and What They Don ‘t Do (Cause Cancer) ‘
II. The Moon and How It ‘s Definitely Not Part of Mars
III. Sharpie-ing a Chart Doesn ‘t Make You Right
IIII. Will Nukes Stop Hurricanes?: An Introduction to Weather
IIII. A Comprehensive List of Words on Third Grade Spelling Tests
And as of this week, we can add another chapter to this ever-growing book of insanity,
V. Basic American Geography
President Trump visited Pittsburgh and during yet another rambling speech about the border, he said that he ‘s going to win in New Mexico because he ‘s going to build a wall along their border, and along the border of Colorado. Yes. Colorado. Please, join me in unpacking this.
Colorado is, and I cannot stress this enough, in the center of this country.
So Trump ‘s grand plan is to build a border wall in a state that does not touch the border.
HMMMMMMMMMM.
Video of President Trump saying he is building a wall in Colorado. Presumably this is a mistake. pic.twitter.com/pydocFWIJo
‘ Joe St. George (@JoeStGeorge) October 23, 2019
This is a conundrum that caught the attention of, well, basically anyone listening, as well as Jared Polis, the Governor of Colorado, who responded in the only way I think anyone could, posting “Well, this is awkward… ‘ on his Facebook page.
Well this is awkward…Colorado doesn ‘t border Mexico. Good thing Colorado now offers free full day kindergarten so our kids can learn basic geography
Posted by Governor Jared Polis on ‘Wednesday, October 23, 2019
But Trump did say that he ‘s going to protect the people of New Mexico, its neighboring state, so maybe his plan is to protect them from the real threat to this nation, people from Colorado.
But considering he back peddled on Twitter the same way a middle schooler would when they ‘re trying to still seem smart, maybe (definitely) he ‘s just (one thousand percent) a giant idiot.
(Kiddingly) We ‘re building a Wall in Colorado ‘(then stated, “we ‘re not building a Wall in Kansas but they get the benefit of the Wall we ‘re building on the Border ‘) refered to people in the very packed auditorium, from Colorado & Kansas, getting the benefit of the Border Wall!
‘ Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 24, 2019
Well, as is the continuing trend of this presidency, at least we have the memes.
https://t.co/fmE0hiPLNB pic.twitter.com/gMzNIcl5Qu
‘ Sen. Patrick Leahy (@SenatorLeahy) October 23, 2019
*BREAKING*
POTUS has released documented evidence that the USA southern border wall does in fact include Colorado. More to follow soon. #uspoli pic.twitter.com/5J7qdOZj0r
‘ ?? Jenny Frecklington-Jones; #HowDareYou (@Triplejay58) October 24, 2019
Now, this. I wake up to discover Trump wants to build a border wall with colorado. If it was grandpa we would have taken his keys away. #delusionaldonald pic.twitter.com/lZzk71eM3w
‘ FloBee (@FloBee991) October 24, 2019
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