By: Sloane Hughes
In a time of unpredictability and turbulence, Nick Offerman is a centuries-old oak tree. A sturdy, majestic yet unpretentious haven whose branches we may cling to for brief moments of peace before being sucked back out into the shit storm which we currently find ourselves in. Watching Nick Offerman do literally anything is just extremely pleasant, and it ‘s like… it ‘s somehow always exactly what you need, y ‘know? So, unsurprisingly, watching him muscle through a plate of hot wings is no exception.
Before he and Hot Ones host Sean Evans begin the gauntlet, Nick says he “can handle most foods ‘ but “doesn ‘t seek out ‘ the way-spicy stuff, and he “looks forward to getting an education ‘ ‘ a statement which, like most things Nick Offerman says, is perfectly simple and eloquent and could very easily be turned into some sort of proverb.
Throughout this hot sauce journey his mouth says “oh that ‘s way too hot ‘ and other remarks which would normally indicate that something is, indeed, way too hot, but the rest of him doesn ‘t flinch or break a sweat because he ‘s Nick Offerman. They cover everything from bratwurst, pizza deliveries by drones, what it means to be masculine, and best of all, a lesson about oak trees.
But the best moment is at the end. When faced with the final hot sauce, The Last Dab, he summarizes how most of us feel:
“This one has three x ‘s on it, but I mean, I don ‘t really care about living anymore, so. ‘