By: Sloane Hughes

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Mountain Dew Body Wash Exists, Has Science Gone Too Far?

Science and technology is constantly improving by leaps and bounds, we learn about incredible new innovations almost everyday, and today, dear readers, is no exception. We ‘ve come a long way, from the printing press to the Apollo 11, but the creations of the past have nothing on this latest marvel of human ingenuity.

Wait ‘ do you hear that knocking sound? The Future is here, and it brought a gift.

Behold: Mountain Dew body wash.

Can you believe it? Science can just retire now I guess, like what else is left to do?

If you ‘re reading this and thinking to yourself, “Hey I feel like I ‘ve seen this somewhere before, ‘ it ‘s because you have. Two years ago, in the year 2 B.M.D.S. ‘ that ‘s Before Mountain Dew Soap which is what we ‘re calling that era from now on ‘ a Redditor posted a photoshopped imagining of Mountain Dew body wash and Doritos face wash, and like Da Vinci ‘s illustrations of aircrafts, this, too, was far ahead of its time.

But today a new age dawns on humanity, the Age of Bodywash Blast.

Mountain Dew was willing to go where no other soda company has gone before, into a soap dispenser.

The “BOLD, KICK ASS ‘ Bodywash Blast smells exactly like Mountain Dew, because it ‘s literally made with Mountain Dew, as the gods themselves intended. And just like the beverage, it is full of mystery, and is to be both loved and feared in equal measure.

Unfortunately Mountain Dew Bodywash Blast isn ‘t available for purchase yet, only 250 were made and sent to the staff at Best Products The Chosen Ones. Which is, I think, for the best. The people aren ‘t ready. Who knows if we ever will be.

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