By: Funny Or Die
Randy Beslow should ‘ve had a much different life.
Thirty years ago when he auditioned for Footloose he wowed the casting director, the guy even gave him a wink and finger guns! FINGER GUNS! So when the actor who came in after him complimented Randy on his stunning white cotton tank-top, he didn ‘t have a single worry in his mind. He waited by his answering machine week after week, but the call never came. Instead, Footloose premiered, and he had to see him, that smug bastard from the audition, in the leading role ‘ and in a goddamn white cotton tank-top.
That should ‘ve been RANDY ‘S breakout role! RANDY ‘S iconic white tank-top! HE should be the one with the fame and fortune, not KEVIN BACON. But he can ‘t just take Kevin ‘s life… Or can he?
However, Kevin Bacon ‘s life is far from perfect, too.
Sure, he ‘s a global superstar, but if everyone is supposedly six degrees from Kevin Bacon, surely he ‘d have a lot of friends? Or at least, some friends? Unfortunately, folks, he doesn ‘t just play a loner in movies. Houston, we have a problem: how do you make a true friend if no one sees you as a friend?
Well, you could accidentally hit someone with your car while they ‘re on their way to kill you because they think you ruined their life and hope you two end up having a lot in common?
Get hooked on this wild ride in an alternate reality, the first AND second episodes of The Last Degree of Kevin Bacon are available now, only on Spotify.