By: Sloane Hughes
Learn To Never Trust English Again With This Book
All the way back in 2018, we used our power to help better society as a whole and showcased the ultimate book that proves the alphabet is bullshit. Now, authors and purveyors of truth Raj Haldar and Chris Carpenter, joined by illustrator-extraordinaire Bryce Gladfelter, are back with another extremely important work in their journey to show the world that
the English language is dumb as hell.
Assuming you ‘ve spent the last two years coming to grips with the fact that the ABC ‘s are a scam (if you haven ‘t, take your time, it ‘s a lot to process), you ‘re ready to move onto this next volume of mandatory reading, No Reading Allowed.
The name seems kind of self-defeating, but we ‘ll do our best to explain.
No Reading Allowed isn ‘t lying when it tells you right on the cover that it is “The WORST read-aloud book ever. ‘ Well, I suppose it ‘s only the worst if you don ‘t like being deceived by words and having your brain scrambled by a picture book.
When you hear the sentence, “raining cats and dogs, ‘ do you picture a terrible storm?
Of course you do. We all do! And you might be right, but you might not. What if what you heard was, “raining cats and dogs, ‘ but what the actual phrase was is, “reigning cats and dogs ‘? Well now! Here you were imagining a day of bad weather when it was actually referring to a ruling pair of canine and feline monarchs! Don ‘t you feel silly?
As you SHOULD. The English language has gone on being ridiculous for far too long, and you and your children need to be prepared for whatever devious homonyms you encounter!
So to make sure you and yours are equipped for all the silly sound-the-same sentences out there, grab this super-serious manual and study it hard! Because what you think you heard there might just be that ewe herd, there.