By: Tamara Yajia
Grease is a classic singing movie about greasy teenagers. ‘
It begins with a triple x porno scene. Sweety pie Jorn Travolter and beautiful Oliver Neutered Junk are in love. They are massaging each other ‘s mouth holes and pointing at some turds that are floating in the ocean. ‘
The problem begins on the first day of school. Jorn Saravolta is no longer a sweetie pie. He has transformed ‘into a horny car man who likes cigarettes and hitting his friends in their testicles. Not cute. Looks painful.’ ‘
His friends ask him if he got his weener wet during summer vacation. One of them is 45 years old. So then he starts to sing a song about how he met a sexy queen from Austria. He sings “Do Do Do Do Do Summer Lovling Hat Me A Blast ‘ ‘
But on the other side of the school Oliver Newton is also singing a song about how she met a sexy kib ng. Her part goes “Summer Loving stepped on a cat ‘ and her friend ‘s reply “tel mee mork tel mee mork did his dingledoo stink. ‘ ‘
Wow true love is as beautiful as Jon Ravioli ‘s lil chin dimple. Unfortunately, the couple broke up because Olivia ate one of those floating turds and Travolvo thought it was disgusting. ‘
Things are super awkward now because they go to the same damn school. Sandlee is depressed, so she joins a female gang called the Pink Ladies because they all love the singer Pink. The girls in the gang ‘s names are Rizzle Dizzle, French Fries, Tooth and Albert. They try to cheer her up by inviting her to an underwear party where she puts on a nightgown and smokes exactly one cigarette. ‘
Meanwhile Saturday Night Fever gentleman joins his own gang called the T Birds which stands for Tiny Birds because they all have teeny peenerses. All they do is eat salami on the bleachers and fix a car called the Greasy Gassy Lightning for some reason. They all shake their tails and do a lot of pointing to celebrate the lovely car while singing a song. One guy does a flip on it. Grease lyning go greeze lything. ‘
Finally, Lets get Physical woman gets over her summer love and starts dating a jock boy called Chunk. They go on a date to the Pulp Fiction restaurant so of course John Traveling Travolta is there because he is filming the movie Pulp Fiction. Uh Oh. Now Johny is jealous and he wants his queen back. He wants her back so so bad that he tries to impress her by joining a sporps team. ‘He tries basletball, wrasslin and even bapeball. He wears grey sweatpants that reveal his important penis. Sandpee says she ‘ll date him one more time at the Pulp Fiction restaurant but their friends come by to ask “tell me morp tell me fork. ‘ I swear if they say “tell me schmorck ‘ one more time I ‘m going to lose my damn mind.
Here is a list of things that happen next:
- Rizzle Dizzle is with child and she throws a cup of vomit on her baby daddy Canned Knuckles.
- French Frey dies her hair pink because she is having a crisis and travels to another dimension where a lot of silver Marge Simpsons are dancing ‘and an old angel man tells her she ‘s a loser with no job. ‘
- The next thing that happened is I fell asleep and when I woke up, a pervert is introducing a TV Show where a bunch of teenagers on adderal are dancing like weirdos. There was too much movement on the screen which caused my circuit board to overheat and shut off. ‘
When my circuit board was repaired all the teenagers were having fun at a carnival. They are all playing fun games like “cream the teacher ‘ where they throw cum at the teacher, the travelling supermarket basket ride, and the vomit ride. ‘
The movie finishes positive. Olive Oil is dressed in latex because she has become a dominatrix person, and Trabalabalaba says “I got chills, they ‘re multiplying, I don ‘t even care about those turds you ate earlier, it ‘s actually electrifying ‘ ‘Then they fly away in the greasy gas ass car while singing llama llama llama alpaca ding dong.
Writer: Tamara Yajia
Writer: Ben Rosen
Editing/GFX: Paul Smith