By: Tamara Yajia
Ode to Masks
AN ODE TO MASKS
Oh masks, oh masks,
Cute little face flaps
No bigger than a pigeon.
You protect me from diseases,
And allow me cover my unattractive face.
And for that ‘
I want to thank you.
‘
Oh masks, oh masks,
Jockstraps for the face.
A guy I went to high school with,
Thinks you are a hoax.
He is a Facebook incel now.
He thinks he knows better than doctors,
But once drank an entire bottle of mayonnaise
Just to get a laugh
‘
Oh masks, oh masks
Why won ‘t people keep you on?
The other day,
A woman standing in front of me,
In line at the supermarket,
Removed hers just to cough,
And then put it back on…
‘
Oh masks oh masks
Your elastic straps,
Are like workouts bands for my ears.
I have two muscular ears now,
Powerful like bodybuilders.
And for that I want to thank you
‘
Oh masks, oh masks, ‘
Thin strips of cloth
You can get designs printed on them
I had one custom made ‘
That says ‘
“I hate humanity ‘ on it. (This line we don ‘t have to write out ’cause we ‘ll have I hate humanity written on the mask)
People compliment me on the street
If I mass produce them.
I might make enough money
To buy myself an industrial pop corn maker
Oh masks, Oh masks.
Face diapers that cover up my bad breath
Cloaks for my adult acne
A new way to advertise my favorite brands across my mouth
Cheap and easy Street Fighter costumes
INDICATORS OF SELFLESSNESS
And for that ‘I want to thank You. ‘