Ode to Masks

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AN ODE TO MASKS

Oh masks, oh masks,

Cute little face flaps

No bigger than a pigeon.

You protect me from diseases,

And allow me cover my unattractive face.

And for that ‘

I want to thank you.

‘

Oh masks, oh masks,

Jockstraps for the face.

A guy I went to high school with,

Thinks you are a hoax.

He is a Facebook incel now.

He thinks he knows better than doctors,

But once drank an entire bottle of mayonnaise

Just to get a laugh

‘

Oh masks, oh masks

Why won ‘t people keep you on?

The other day,

A woman standing in front of me,

In line at the supermarket,

Removed hers just to cough,

And then put it back on…

‘

Oh masks oh masks

Your elastic straps,

Are like workouts bands for my ears.

I have two muscular ears now,

Powerful like bodybuilders.

And for that I want to thank you

‘

Oh masks, oh masks, ‘

Thin strips of cloth

You can get designs printed on them

I had one custom made ‘

That says ‘

“I hate humanity ‘ on it. (This line we don ‘t have to write out ’cause we ‘ll have I hate humanity written on the mask)

People compliment me on the street

If I mass produce them.

I might make enough money

To buy myself an industrial pop corn maker

Oh masks, Oh masks.

Face diapers that cover up my bad breath

Cloaks for my adult acne

A new way to advertise my favorite brands across my mouth

Cheap and easy Street Fighter costumes

INDICATORS OF SELFLESSNESS

And for that ‘I want to thank You. ‘