The Diet Coke Button, Unfortunately, Rules

We did it. We made it to inauguration day, which shouldn ‘t be a huge deal but let ‘s be honest, it felt a little touch and go for a while there. The Biden-Harris administration ‘s to-do list is a mile long, but they ‘ve already started making changes. We ‘re gonna skip over Biden firing three Trump appointees who are the embodiment of evil, reinstating DACA protections, and rejoining the Paris climate accord and move right on to the stuff that really matters, which is the news that President Biden has removed the Diet Coke button.

“What is the Diet Coke button ‘ you ask?

Well, first of all, apparently this is not actual “news ‘ and was covered at the very beginning of Trump ‘s presidency. I have no memory of that whatsoever, though, either because I just never saw any of the coverage or because the subsequent four year onslaught of absolute fucking hell that ensued took priority in my brain. In any case, I ‘m definitely not the only one who has just now been made aware of the Diet Coke button.

The Diet Coke button is (or rather, was) a discreet red button atop an inconspicuous wooden box that sat on the Oval Office desk, and when President Trump pressed said button a butler would arrive swiftly with a glass filled with Diet Coke on a silver platter.