Reasons I Say BRING ON THE SEQUESTER

Reasons I Say BRING ON THE SEQUESTER

If Congress doesn’t reach a deal by this Friday, a “sequester” will take effect ‘cutting $85 billion from the federal budget instantaneously, with a total of $1.2 trillion over the next 10 years. “Scare-quester,” you say? Nay! I say, “Sequ-excellent!” Bring on the sequester in all its fiscally irresponsible glory! Here’s what I’m most excited about:

10 Buttons People Hit A Lot Thinking That Hitting Them A Lot Makes The Thing Work Faster Or Better

10 Buttons People Hit A Lot Thinking That Hitting Them A Lot Makes The Thing Work Faster Or Better

Round and shiny; flat and rubbery; tactile, grooved and sumptuous. But enough about areolas. Buttons are all around us and meant to be pushed in order for a thing to occur. But even though we live in 2013 and most buttons are pretty good at, you know, doing the thing they’re supposed to do, we push some more than others. A lot. And it’s not helping. The worst offenders:

7 Irrational Fears That Are Real, And How To Avoid Them

7 Irrational Fears That Are Real, And How To Avoid Them

What’s that behind you? FEAR! Yes, fear. It’s all around us, especially right behind you. FEAR! If harnessed properly, it can be a powerful motivator. (For example: Something terrifying is behind you; run! FEAR!) But as it turns out, that’s easier said than done. The world is fraught with horrors so unimaginable and irrational that all you can do is cower in fear. REAL FEAR! Be very afraid of these gruesome nightmare scenarios that will probably happen to you based solely on flimsy anecdotal evidence.

Ruff: The Life And Times Of Presidential Pups FUN FACTS

Ruff: The Life And Times Of Presidential Pups FUN FACTS

With President’s Day just around the corner (that’s why you don’t have work Monday, as if you cared, CHAIRMAN MAO), it’s time to honor the backbone of our democracy: pictures of cute puppies on the Internet. Oh, and Presidents and stuff or whatever. Enjoy our tribute to the honorable lives of White House pooches past, present and ‘future?