Why just be traditional when you could say “on fleekness and in health”?
If you pay money to have your license plate say one of these things, congrats because you’re the worst.
New rule: ONLY dogs allowed.
When wishing someone a happy birthday on Facebook, keep the effort level low.
It comes with a state of the art port for you to blow into when it doesn’t work!
Proof that all of Hillary’s deleted emails were LinkedIn requests.
#3. Reducing the “Fun Size” candy bars to “Barely Tolerable Size.”
What would you go back for?
Everyone silently mouths “sorry” to the camera after each time they say “transvestite.”
They never had a chance.