In Effort To Balance Ticket McCain May Select Homeless Man
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FALLS CHURCH, VA – Seeking to mute criticism for not knowing how many houses he owns, speculation is growing that John McCain may select a homeless man for Vice President. Campaign strategist-lobbyist Charlie Black confirmed that ‘if you have one guy with seven or eight houses and another guy with none you end up with an average of 3 to 4 houses per candidate and that ‘s something we can spin to the average moron.” Black later clarified that he meant to say ‘voting moron.”
Homeowners on the short list, all of whom McCain is said to be personally comfortable with, include Brit Hume, Andrew Carnegie V, Sean Hannity, Lt. Cmdr. Philip Francis Queeg, Zsa Zsa Gabor and the Exxon Mobil Corporation.
Michael “Mookie” Blaiklock, Dave Horwitz, Justin Becker, and Elisha Yaffe have a roommate meeting. Featuring Colton Dunn (Key & Peele) and Pat Boccuzzi.
Mike Falzone talks to a lovely audience about their vests and GPAs at The Dirty Penguin in Chino Hills, CA. Mike LIVE in Portland: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/mike-falzone-live-at-the-siren-theater-tickets-42699493334?aff=ehomesaved Mike LIVE in Missoula: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/mike-falzone-live-at-the-roxy-in-missoula-mt-tickets-44040480262?aff=ehomesaved Mike Falzone has been solving the internet’s problems since 2006 when he became one of the first creators to establish themselves on YouTube. Hailing from the great state of Connecticut, Falzone began touring as a musician at 14 and while still his first love, Falzone has since shifted his passion and drive into pursuing stand-up comedy. After surviving two major health scares in two weeks, Falzone decided to move west to pursue his entertainment passions and has been tickling the funny bones of YouTube fans and L.A. audiences ever since. He’s performed at College Humor Live, several of the Improv comedy venues, and has appeared on-stage at the world famous Comedy Store. Additional things: – In 2016 Mike was nominated for a Shorty Award in the category of ‘Funniest YouTube Comedian” – Mike (as Wrestlin’ Fred) hosts a show on Dwayne The Rock Johnson’s YouTube channel called ‘Friday Night Fred’ – Recently a host for SourceFed, a comedy and news channel with over 1 million subscribers.
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