In Effort To Balance Ticket McCain May Select Homeless Man

FALLS CHURCH, VA – Seeking to mute criticism for not knowing how many houses he owns, speculation is growing that John McCain may select a homeless man for Vice President. Campaign strategist-lobbyist Charlie Black confirmed that ‘if you have one guy with seven or eight houses and another guy with none you end up with an average of 3 to 4 houses per candidate and that ‘s something we can spin to the average moron.” Black later clarified that he meant to say ‘voting moron.”

Homeowners on the short list, all of whom McCain is said to be personally comfortable with, include Brit Hume, Andrew Carnegie V, Sean Hannity, Lt. Cmdr. Philip Francis Queeg, Zsa Zsa Gabor and the Exxon Mobil Corporation.