Rick Perry is a simple, adorable cowboy man who believes faith in Jesus Christ will bring this country together, so just google “Christ + America + Candy” and get him the first thing that comes up.
Gift Ideas Christ America Candy ‘ Cowboy Stuff ‘ Meat Cowboy Meat Meat in the Shape of Jesus ‘ Gift Certificate to the Cowboy Store ‘ Dignity
Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann is sort of like the Lion, the Scarecrow, and the Tin Man all rolled into one abomination of what some would consider a human being.
Gift Ideas A Brain A Heart Courage to Advance Past an Immature Teenager’s Understanding of the World Dignity
Mitt Romney
Mitt Romney is the richest GOP candidate and has grossed the most campaign donations, so there’s no need to get him anything fancy this Christmas, just as long as you give him more money.
Gift Ideas ‘ Money Dignity
Newt Gingrich
Newt Gingrich has been dropping hints like a madman this holiday season, specifically about wanting to build a mining colony on the moon.
Gift Ideas Astronaut Suit Moon Stuff Space Food Movies About Outer Space Gift Certificate to the Moon Store Mixtape for Outer Space Dignity
Jon Huntsman
Jon Huntsman is a GOP candidate that probably likes to receive gifts?
Gift Ideas Socks or something? Maybe a Hug for His Imminent Defeat in the Race? Dignity
Ron Paul
Once Ron Paul got wind of the White House Christmas party he decided that he doesn’t want anything for Christmas, due to the government’s clear endorsement of the liberty-destroying holiday.
Gift Ideas Nothing
Rick Santorum
The only things sabotaging Rick Santorum’s nomination hopes more than the definition of his last name are his actions, words, and political platform. So while you cannot help him with the latter three, why not try to help him fix the last name issue?
Gift Ideas ‘ Access to Google’s mainframe Team of Web Developers Sharp Enough to Re-Engineer Google’s Search Engine ‘ Big ol’ Dildo Sense of Humor Dignity
Barack Obama
As President of the United States of America, Barack Obama already has everything he could ever want: The most stressful job in the world, a nation divided between people who hate him and people who are sort of OK with him, and a devastated ecomony. There’s really only one thing Obama could ask for this Christmas ‘
Gift Ideas Continued Media Coverage of Republican Debates
After seeing a photo of a rowdy St. Patrick’s Day partier, April Richardson, Sean Patton and Paul Scheer come up with appropriate hashtags for the drunken celebration. Watch full episodes of @midnight now: http://on.cc.com/17MOT5T
0
We use cookies to optimize our website and our service.
Functional
Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
We use cookies to optimize our website and our service.
Functional
Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
