Emails From Superbowl Players’ Moms
All eyes are on the Seattle Seahawks and the New England Patriots as they prepare for Superbowl Sunday. This leaves only two days for their moms to email them with their concerns.
From: Ellen Gronkowski
Subject: Football dangerous?!
Gronk! Aunt Gronk just forwarded me an article she found on facebook that says that football can cause brain injuries?? That ‘s terrible!! Your dad Gronk and I are so worried!!! Be careful on Sunday, and don ‘t be ashamed to drop the football and run away if it looks like someone might hurt you. I ‘m sure all your football friends will understand!! And get a flu shot!
Love,
Gronk
From: Patty Wilson
Subject: Can ‘t wait to watch you on Superbowl Monday!!!!
Hi Russy! Your dad and I bought our cruise tickets SPECIFICALLY so we could get back to watch you play in your big football game on Monday! We are so proud of you!!! We will be thinking of you all weekend in the middle of the ocean!!! These cruise tix were very expensive, we are excited to never change them!!!! Get a flu shot!!!!!
Love,
Mom
From: Ellen Sherman
Subject: FWD: Football dangerous?!
Hi baby boy, you know my friend Gronk from my book club? Turns out she also has a son who plays football, maybe you know him, I think his name is Gronk? Anyhow, she forwarded me a VERY frightening article that says football can cause brain injuries! PLEASE read it, I have attached it as 3 JPEGs and a TIFF!
Remember, you ‘re Mommy ‘s best little corner in the game!
From: Patty Brady
Subject: CHEATING
Thomas Edward Patrick Brady, WHAT is this I hear about you CHEATING at football by deflating the balls? Your father and I did NOT raise you to get caught when you cheat. We raised you to cheat VERY SECRETLY so you win at everything no matter what. Always remember, baby boy, your dad and I only love winners. And bleach your teeth. They ‘re looking dim.
Conditional love,
Mom
PS. Get two flu shots. Every extra flu shot you hog weakens a stranger.
From: Momshawn Lynch
Subject: Yeah
Yeah.
