By: Funny Or Die
Long before Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, there were numerous other Batman and Superman projects in the works that never got off the ground. Many superhero fans have heard tell of a Tim Burton-directed Superman movie starring Nicholas Cage, but that ‘s just one of many proposed re-imaginings of the Batman and Superman franchises. Here are several other Batman and Superman films that, for better or worse, never saw the light of day:
George R. R. Martin ‘s Game of Caves
This one is pretty standard Batman fare, with the exception that Bruce Wayne ‘s parents are siblings and the Joker decapitates Batman in the first 15 minutes.
The Odd Capel
Tidy, fastidious Superman has everything just the way he wants it in his Fortress of Solitude ‘but then he has to take in boorish, sloppy Batman, who becomes his roommate after his wife Vicky Vale divorces him.
Zach Braff ‘s If Only I Were Super
Clark Kent just plain doesn ‘t know what to do with his life. Being a journalist and a superhero is OK, but is it really what he wants? He decides to visit a reconstructed Krypton where he meets a quirky, medicated alien. Soundtrack by a band that is 3 dudes and a chick.
Kevin James in: Man of Veal
Butcher ‘s apprentice Ron Glerp is overweight and single. But after suave pickup artist Superman takes him under his cape-wing, Ron ‘s about to enter a whole new type of meat market.
Brad Bird ‘s Batty (Animated)
When mild-mannered bat Bruce loses his parents to a spelunking accident, he has no idea that he ‘ll wind up defending his entire bat colony against a group of evil Chilean miners trying to excavate the valuable copper hidden in the cave ‘s walls.
Lars Von Trier ‘s The Darkest Man
Batman struggles to hide his secret pain-sex fetish while protecting Gotham. The third act is one long, uncut shot of Batman ‘s nuts getting crushed and him just loving it. Willem DaFoe plays Joker/Nut squeezer.
An NYU Film Student ‘sBlack and Blue and Red
Batman and Superman, played by women, work together to fight crime despite rumors about their sexuality swirling around Brooklyn (where they live now). The final scene is one long conversation about their respective parents that cuts off mid sentence.
Zack Snyder ‘s Batman vs. Superman vs. Alien vs. Predator vs. Jason vs. Freddy vs. Kramer vs. Kramer
Batman meets his match when he finally takes on Superman ‘and also Alien and Predator ‘But wait ‘ Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger are there! As if that ‘s not enough, everything is overshadowed by a messy divorce/custody situation
Chris O ‘Donnell ‘s Oops! All Chris O ‘Donnell
In this thrilling adaptation of the Batman franchise, there was a mixup at the Gotham factory and it made everybody Chris O ‘Donnell. Chris O ‘Donnell not only reprises his role as Robin but also plays everyone else: The Joker, Batman, Catwoman ‘ it ‘s all Chris O ‘Donnell, all the time. (This film never garnered any interest from a major studio, but Chris O'Donnell ‘s mom thought it was a ‘wonderful idea.”)