June Is Both National Candy Month and National Fruits and Vegetables Month. Here’s How To Handle It.

America is a country divided. We are split between the comfort of outdated virtues and the allure of sweet ideals. I ‘m not talking about the presidential election. For one goddamn minute stop thinking about the presidential election. (It ‘s Bernie ‘s race to lose.) The real issue at the core of this nation is that June is both National Fresh Fruits & Vegetables Month and National Candy Month.

For many weaker countries, this would cause civil unrest.But this is goddamn America and we ‘re all about putting chicken on waffles and bacon on everything. We are a country that took female beauty pageants and said, ‘let ‘s make this sexier, and with young children.” And then put that idea on television. What I ‘m saying is that we are a country that doesn ‘t see conflict; we seize opportunity. Stop worrying about which to observe this month. Just smash them together and celebrate at 200%.

Here are some ideas on how to pay your respects to both fruits and vegetables and to candy during the month of June:

Peach Rings

Cotton Candy Grapes

Pina Colada

Crystalized Ginger

Just put all the candies, fruits, and veggies in your mouth

Have a good time this month! At the end of the day, both of these celebrations are meant to be educational (fruit and vegetables!) and fun (candy!)