Tips on Tinder

I ‘m pretty firmly on the hetero side of the Kinsey scale. Still, I ‘m not a huge fan of the look of the male genitalia. The flesh serpent has never been what wowed me about the opposite sex. A penis is there. It ‘s useful. I ‘m in favor. I just don ‘t necessarily want to look at it much outside of an in-person consensual setting. That ‘s just me. I ‘m sure others make big old plaster statuettes of penes and put them all around their house to admire. There ‘s nothing wrong with that. Thing is, I don ‘t know any women like that.

So when a friend told me about the epidemic of dick tip pics (DTPs) on dating apps like Tinder, I couldn ‘t help but think, ‘Why?” In these pictures – she started taking screenshots of them and texting them to me – there it would be, at the bottom of the frame, just the tip top of his dick, obviously held at attention by his non-selfie hand. And why?! It was like a peacock showing his feathers but this little feather looked like a purple-y grape at the bottom of the picture of an otherwise chiseled chest. And why throw in that little bit of ripe fruit for your viewer? These men had chosen to chop out their own faces for the chance to show just a teeny bit of the main brain. And then there were the profile pics with full dong. Or the one that had a hand drawn arrow and crinkly lettering proclaiming, ‘penis.”

And who are the women that respond to these photos? There ‘s no going out for a casual get-to-know-you quesadilla with a guy after you ‘ve seen his biznass. I mean you gotta drop panty in the first half hour when you show up based off a DTP.

Some of my man friends say men try to self sabotage their dating lives by posting these pics, but it seems to me there are so many people posting them there ‘s got to be a success rate. So these men keep fishing for the girl who will see the tip and ultimately respond in carnal favors. The woman who ‘ll say, ‘He likes me, he must really like me! Look at that TIP!” *She swipes right, waits with bated breath for his first sext to come through*

What would happen if women started reversing this skin wagging by putting vaginal tip pics on their Tinder profiles? And, how would you sneak one into a profile pic? See I ‘m interested in this experiment because I think even the douche bags that have their dick tips on Tinder would be turned off by a profile clit pic because even douche bags like a little chase.

And that ‘s my point, er, tip. Whether you ‘re hopping to it on the first date or holding out for marriage, we need to stop encouraging this behavior. Women who respond to DTPs enable douche baggery. This is not an inherited trait, it ‘s a learned behavior. And for every time it works, an angel ‘s wings melt off and three more douche bags are inspired to take pics of their tips. And next thing you know, we are getting the whole enchilada and as a culture we ‘re all getting the shaft.

For fun, here ‘s what might happen if a woman returned the tip: http://youtu.be/Vb1ywyXqxJ8