9 Useless Super Powers
With some super powers, you could save the world. These are not those powers.
Ability To Converse With Dinosaurs
Can Always Predict Which Horse Will Come Fourth
Korn-Style Angry Rap-Scatting
Flight, But Only While In Planes
Visibility
Distinguishing Ska From Reggae
The Ability To Heat Up Bisque Without A Stove Or Microwave
Has Dignity While Wearing A Fedora
Glowing Butt
Illustrations By Dennis Jackson
