What Your College Major Says About You
Business
You like money.
Literature
You hate money.
Engineering
You never lose at Jenga.
Math
You ‘ve fucked a calculator.
Political Science
You ‘d let Bernie Sanders punch you in the face and consider it an honor.
Computer Science
Your parents and grandparents call you every time they can ‘t get on the internet. You never answer the phone.
Dance
You ‘re the first one on the dance floor at a wedding, Bar Mitzvah, or funeral. You ‘re okay at Jenga.
Philosophy
You named your dog Nietzsche and get angry when people ask why. You don ‘t believe money exists.
Astrophysics
You invited Neil deGrasse Tyson to all of your birthday parties and don ‘t even regret when he shows up, drinks all the booze, and makes out with your mom.
General Studies
You ‘re still in college.
Writing
You ‘re writing a 500 page novel about Jenga. You hate money.
