22 Delicious Tweets That Have Zero To Do With Politics

first guy to ever say cowabunga: cowabunga, dude

his friend: what the fuck did u just say

‘ Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) August 15, 2017

---

Hey guys, for everyone who saw Glazed Ham get tasered in the dick and ass on Periscope earlier, we poured heavy cream on him and he's fine.

‘ Stefan Heck (@boring_as_heck) August 13, 2017

---

*On Ellen*
ELLEN: so i see u tweet about wanting to die
ME: haha yeah sometimes
*Death appears, sneaks up behind me*
ME: omg ellen you didnt

‘ Cory (@killlmefam) August 11, 2017

---

I am a proud member of the Exaggerators Club. Membership 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and growing.

‘ Day Weingarten (@jayweingarten) August 15, 2017

---

What do you call a video teaching you how to play the trumpet? A toot-orial! Ahhhh! This joke is music to my ears. #WockaWocka!

‘ Fozzie Bear (@FozzieBear) August 15, 2017

---

ME: Why don't you guys want to hang out anymore?

FRIEND: Well ever since you got that thesaurus…

ME: Is it my perspicacity? My panache?

‘ Nathan Usher (@thenatewolf) August 16, 2017

---

oh my god pic.twitter.com/DatMz7skmW

‘ weak belwas (@vrunt) August 14, 2017

---

thje teen choice awards blows the kids choice awards out of the fucking water instantly, zero contest #culture #TheArts

‘ wint (@dril) August 16, 2017

---

I am a:

Man
?? Woman

Looking for:

?? Men
?? Women
Carly Rae Jepsen's 2015 masterpiece E ‘MO ‘TION to receive the justice it deserves

‘ Spencer Niemetz (@SPENCERcNIEMETZ) August 14, 2017

---

you guys enjoying your meal? pic.twitter.com/3ZM0XBpSgF

‘ rudy mustang (@rudy_mustang) August 11, 2017

---

#bertstit pic.twitter.com/gmqtEkewo1

‘ Jim Tozzi (@specialsquid) August 17, 2017

---

If you started school today Shoutout you man! Also how are you reading this… pay attention

‘ Chance The Rapper (@chancetherapper) August 14, 2017

---

I'm interrupting your disaster of a Twitter feed with new pictures from @CassiniSaturn because they're beautiful. Taken August 12th. pic.twitter.com/GGmbrpzbpN

‘ Shannon Stirone (@shannonmstirone) August 14, 2017

---

how to cheer up a miserable friend xox pic.twitter.com/CPJH6jDOoS

‘ Chris (Simpsons artist) (@getbentsaggy) August 16, 2017

---

Me:[watching a meteor shower] cmon cmon… make the turn, smash into us you fucking cowards

‘ grimes ‘s boyfriend (@AbrasiveGhost) August 13, 2017

---

me writing at 3am: holy shit….. this is so good when did i become this talented
me reading what i wrote the next day: he roled he's eye

‘ (@sapphicgrI) August 11, 2017

---

I have several questions. pic.twitter.com/ikqFh8dtaw

‘ #AltResistance (@centrismsucks) August 11, 2017

---

A Face/Off reboot where Chris Pine, Chris Evans, Chris Pratt, and Chris Hemsworth all switch faces and no one notices the difference

‘ REW (@therealeatwood) August 10, 2017

---

Freaking out. My doctor said if we don ‘t try to conceive in the next year, we'll have almost no chance at birthing the next Woody Allen muse

‘ Jen Spyra (@jenspyra) August 10, 2017