By: Sloane Hughes

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Bring Back ‘Silent Library ‘

Happy 2020, everybody.

We did it. We made it, somehow. As the sun sets on the dumpster fire that was 2019 it dawns on a new year, and with it comes the possibility that maybe, just maybe, things will be a little better. (Note from the future: HAHA NOPE THERE ‘S A LITERAL PANDEMIC!) The term “things ‘ in this context encompasses a whole buttload of items that need improving, the political climate, the actual climate, y ‘know, just all that big existential stuff. But today, I wanna talk about the things wayyyyyy down at the bottom of that list. Like way, way down.

I wanna talk about television.

We ‘ve been in the era of remakes and reboots for many years now and, for better or worse, it doesn ‘t look like we ‘ll be free anytime soon. Sometimes these revivals are great, sometimes they ‘re complete garbage, more often than not they ‘re just… meh. But instead of railing against the Age of the Remake, why not embrace it, come together as one, and rally for the resurrection of a truly magnificent show?

Which show, you ask? I ‘ll tell you.

Silent Library.

For those who don ‘t know, Silent Library was an American take on a Japanese game show that ran on MTV from 2009 to 2011. A group of six friends would sit together at a table inside a library (studio set, not a real library) all playing for a cash prize they would split, and the premise was simple: be quiet. Through a process that ‘s pretty much drawing straws, one team member would be selected to complete a randomly selected challenge while the rest of the team either watched or participated, depending on the challenge. If everyone stayed silent, they received cash for that round. These challenges could be anything from having to kiss a dead fish on the mouth, being beaten up by a clown wielding a foam bat, or receiving a wedgy powered by a stationary bike. Basically, anything the show ‘s creators could think of to try and break the contestants.

It was glorious.

The show became such an instant hit that pretty quickly a Celebrity Silent Library was developed, where people like Jimmy Fallon and The Roots or even WWE stars could come be tortured and try not to laugh in the process. And then, just as quickly as it arrived, it was gone. We need it back. I don ‘t care what other nostalgic reboots are in the works, what I truly want, and what the world truly needs, is 20 minutes of juvenile slapstick comedy while we all try not to laugh. Because everyone knows that ‘s when everything is funniest.

Let 2020 be the year of Silent Library.

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