An internal study by the Department of Homeland Security was able to sneak weapons and explosives past TSA checkpoints 95% of the time during undercover tests. In total, 67 of 70 agents were able to sneak their weapons through, including one agent who got through a pat-down with a bomb strapped to his back. Here are some of the other ways that the study found TSA agents were able to be fooled
- Hide your guns in shampoo bottles filled with weed.
- Make a pinwheel out of pistols and joyfully blow into it as you pass security.
- Hold the bomb in your hands and walk through with confidence. People will assume you ‘re supposed to be doing pretty much anything and not stop you if you do it with confidence.
- Show them a license to carry a weapon on a plane. Feel free to hand-write it, and just draw an official-looking seal. Crayon OK.
- Look in your seatback pocket; there ‘s a good chance a previous passenger left a gun in there.
- Cry about five minutes before going through security. This ‘ll give your face that puffy, wet look that makes TSA agents want to avoid talking to you any more than they have to.
- Carry your gun openly and if asked tell the TSA it ‘s because your name is ‘Gun.” This will make enough sense to them they will let you through.
- Paint the tip of your assault rifle orange. They ‘ll think it ‘s one of those realistic toy guns and ask no further questions.
- Hide your katana blade in your pant leg, and walk with a limp and a cane. When the metal detector goes off, clink your katana with your cane and say it ‘s a metal leg. Also, the cane is really just a sheath for another katana blade. Sheath can also be used for stabbing if need be.
- Wear a gun-patterned shirt with a real gun hidden among the fabric guns.
- Chuck your throwing knives into a wall on the other side of security and pick ’em up after you get through.
- Have your wife hide your weapons ‘the TSA cannot legally search a married woman.
- Distract agents from examining your luggage by enthusiastically demanding a pat down while smiling real hard and winking and stuff.
- Say you are diabetic and refer to your gun as your ‘insulin pump.” A cool thing is that no one knows what those look like!
- Just say real conspicuously near the metal detector, ‘Nope, no bomb in this carry on.” But here ‘s the trick: really there is a bomb in there, despite what you said. Fools 'em every time.
- Just walk through with whatever, evidently.