By: Kristy Lopez-Bernal

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Other People Mike Huckabee Would Like To Pretend To Be To Benefit Himself

Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee preparing to make an idiotic remark.

Amid increased awareness of transgender issues after Caitlyn Jenner came out as transgender in Vanity Fair magazine on Monday, it was revealed that Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee made an insensitive joke about transgender people earlier this year. Specifically, Huckabee said,

‘I wish that someone told me that when I was in high school that I could have felt like a woman when it came time to take showers in PE.I ‘m pretty sure that I would have found my feminine side and said, ‘Coach, I think I ‘d rather shower with the girls today. ‘”

This isn ‘t the first time that Huckabee has gotten into hot water over insensitive comments about disadvantaged groups of people. Here are some other quotes from Mike Huckabee about non-straight-white-males he would like to pretend to be in order to benefit himself:

A muslim woman at airport security.
‘Muslim women catch all the breaks ‘ when they go through airport security, they ‘re pulled aside and felt up ‘ for free! And if they ‘re really lucky, the TSA takes them to a separate room where they do a full-body check on them. Ooh, I ‘d love to feel a TSA agent ‘s latex-gloved hands rubbing all over my body and up in my orifices in a sexy airport back room!”

A married woman.
‘Married women whose husbands don ‘t let them work have it made in the shade. I ‘d love to be one so I wouldn ‘t have to be the breadwinner for my family. Not having that kind of stress on my shoulders would be a godsend. And as an added bonus, you ‘d get to stay at home and play with the kids all day!”

A poor Hispanic immigrant with five kids.
‘I ‘m the sort of guy who likes to eat. After all, I did write a book called Gods, Guns, Grits, and Gravy! But you know what ‘s better than food? Free food! Hispanic immigrants who are unemployed get lots of free food from the government. And the more kids you have, the more food you get. It ‘s just like the all-you-can-eat buffet at Sizzler.”

A black man who didn ‘t use his turn signal.
‘Black men are so lucky! When they ‘re pulled over for not using their turn signal or a broken tail light or whatever, they ‘re handcuffed and roughed up by the police. Since we ‘re amongst friends, I ‘ll let you in on a little secret: I, Mike Huckabee, am into S&M. That ‘s right! There ‘s nothing I ‘d like more than to have a man dressed up like a cop calling me a stupid hoodlum lowlife and kicking me in the face while I ‘m all tied up.”

A drug-addicted prostitute.
‘Did you know that you can have sex with people and get paid at the same time? I ‘m going to pretend to be a prostitute. Win-win!”

‘Jim” at Starbucks.
”Jim ‘ and I order the same thing at Starbucks each morning – a venti soy latte. Thing is, ‘Jim ‘ is always a few people ahead of me in the line, so he orders his coffee drink before me. Now I know ‘Jim ‘ isn ‘t a minority, but I ‘d just love to pretend to be ‘Jim ‘ each morning so I could take his venti soy latte when his name is called out and not wait a couple minutes more for mine.”

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